For more context, click here.
One final story about this interesting relationship:
After being back in the States for a bit, I finally confided in Mom that there was a guy. She asked questions, I answered. Then she looks at me and asks, “Did this actually happen?”
Huh?
What purpose have I to lie?
Yeah, it sounds more far-fetched than normal, I know. But why would I make shit up like that?
“You don’t seem upset or anything. Like, you have no emotion telling me.”
The breakup had happened almost a year prior to this conversation. And while it was a very sad breakup, I was over it.
I don’t have emotions connected to it anymore, just factual memories. I recognize I was happy when we were going out and I recognize I was sad when it ended, but that’s it.
Was she expecting me to cry about him? Was she expecting me to laugh? What was she expecting?
To this day, I’m a wee confused about that conversation between us, but she seems to believe me now. That’s something, at least.
You shouldn’t expect someone to harbor emotions a while after the fact. Don’t get me wrong, some people do. Some are traumatized over something like this for years. I probably would’ve been too id I didn’t care for myself as quick as I did.
But if I’m telling you something like this, first ask yourself ‘would she lie about something like this?’ (That English was so bad, but I’m keeping it; you get what I mean). Don’t ask someone (without a history of chronic lying) if they are fabricating. If you need to reprocess with a simple ‘Really?’ it’s better than straight up asking if I’m lying.
And those of you who are called liars (intentionally or otherwise), just accept it as confusion and articulate your thoughts. They may just need an answer to an inner question.
Hopefully with this, the damn story will close and I don’t have to make another post about it.
Thanks for indulging me.
Hugs
Alexandra
Post-edit: According to Mother, she was not calling me a liar. And to clarify, I didn’t think she was fully intending on that. I think it unintentionally came out like that because she was confused with the prospect. This doesn’t change the main point of the post, which is to articulate your own confusion first. Hope that cleared something up. Thanks ^_^
Alexandra TG 